So I blogged earlier about how I am trying to let college tell me which path I should pursue and help me “find myself”. I know it’s super cheesy but I’m feeling more and more every day that I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with myself in the future and even though I’m only a freshman I feel some sort of pressure weighing down on me because it seems like all of my friends know exactly what they want to do. They are in love with one major and one class and I don’t know what I love yet. 

Originally, I wanted to be an english major because I know that I like to write and that the only class that I ever enjoyed in high school was english. But the problem, actually a big problem, is that I really hate reading. So english was thrown out. Then I thought that I should do journalism because I like to write. The only problem is that I don’t really think that my writing is good enough but most important, I just looked at the prerequisites for being a journalism major at Mizzou (the best journalism school in the country: represent). HOLY SHIT. They take their journalism shit seriously here. 

So I was left with an undecided major and feeling pretty darn lost. I’m in this interdisciplinary studies class here at Mizzou and it’s all about deciding your major and cheesy stuff like that. We always have to do pretty lame activities and it seems to be in vain because everyone there knows their major already except me. We do these activities because we are a “career exploration freshman interest group” so they are trying to help us decide. The catch is that most people have already decided and they only joined the fig because they wanted a good dorm room and that was the only way in. So anyway, we were doing this cheesy activity where we bid on things that are important to us and it’s supposed to show us our values. We had $6,000 dollars and I ended up biding on two things for $3,000 each and I won both of them. They were free tuition and books for five years and world peace for ten years. I don’t think this activity really showed me my values because everyone likes to be cheap and no one wants the world to be at war. Well, no good person anyway. But my teacher, who is Jack Black by the way, made me feel good about it and so on. 

Anyway, so I was on my laptop looking through classes for next semester and I was searching through the majors and minors and I remembered this new major that Mizzou just added this year: Interdisciplinary Studies with an emphasis on Peace Studies. Most people just call it peace studies. I have no idea what that could entail so I am going to enroll in Peace Studies 1050 which is supposed to show you all about the major. 

It seems like such a pointless and cheesy major with no real job opportunities, but the other day I told my friend to stop thinking about what job will make her the most money and start thinking about what she really loves to do. I would feel like a hypocrite if I didn’t check it out.

On Wednesday’s, I have four classes so it’s my busiest day. 

Public Speaking: 8am-9am

English: 9am-10am

Biology: 12pm-1pm

Interdisciplinary Studies: 2pm-3pm

The gap between my biology class and my Interdisciplinary studies class is awkward because it’s only an hour and they’re in the same building. Usually, I just rush back to my dorm room (about a 15-20 minute walk depending on traffic) and shove Baja down my throat. Today, being productive, I decided to take my laptop to Biology and in the hour before my next class, go to the student center, get a sandwich, and start typing my speech! This would be the first time that I’ve eaten alone at college so far, scary! So now I’m in the student center, waiting for 1:45 so I can go to my next class, and blogging for you all to read!

My sandwich was just alright… I’m still hungry. The student center really isn’t very intimidating, a lot of people are eating alone and doing their homework and such. It’s actually kind of nice, it’s loud because people are talking so I don’t feel like I need to be quiet or anything. I think this will become a weekly Wednesday ritual. 

Ok, ok, so Molly got out of class early and I got out of study group early and we went to the international bazaar together, I was going to go alone I swear!

At the international bazaar, I learned that I don’t really care for international cuisine. It was also very crowded and the lines were very long. A sweet saudi arabian boy warned Molly and I about the seeds that are in dates and told us to look out for them. It was at that moment that Molly and I realized that instead of broadening our international knowledge, we should have been looking for a cute international boyfriend. The saudi arabian boy was cute and he obviously cared about us enough to protect our mouths from date seeds.

The weather is perfect. 

Now, I can’t wait to take a shower, put on some leggings and a t-shirt with no bra, lay in my bed and read. I’m probably going to set up “ultimate comfort” (only my roommate knows what that is).

I feel obligated to post something because my friends have commented on how little everyone posts now… Literally nothing in my life has been exciting enough to blog about.

I’m trying to figure myself out, ya know? I figure college is the best place to do it. I’m an undecided major right now and nothing could describe the way I feel better than undecided. I’m just going to be patient and wait for it to just hit me, like one day I’ll know what I want to do. 

Right now I’m listening to You by Atmosphere and it reminds me of Claire. I miss her and my other friends so much! I love college so far but I can’t wait for Thanksgiving break. I have such a busy week ahead of me. I have my first speech for public speaking on Friday. Of course, I was drawn to go first, of course. Also, I have to write a 4-5 page paper by Friday. College is just getting harder and harder every week. 

Right now, I have to go meet with my biology group at the library but the good thing is that the International Bazaar is outside of the library so after we study I’m going to go check it out (alone, proud Molly?) I’ll let you know how it goes.

Ok, I went a little crazy with the quotes, but the first two cracked me up and the last one is just baller. There are some things that I don’t understand about people like Christine O’Donnell:

1. She’s against the distribution of condoms (and all birth control) as well as abortion (she’s very pro-life). So no one should have sex until they’re married?

2. If there are no birth control, condoms, or abortion then clearly no one is having sex until they’re married regardless of religious affiliation or moral stand point. So basically everyone has to believe in exactly what she believes or be completely fucked?

3. Even if by some miracle absolutely no one had sex until they were married and there was no need for people to get abortions or take some sort of birth control before they are married, that is completely ruling out the people who ARE married but do not want children. Not every woman walking this earth wants to raise a family but I’m sure every woman wants to, at some point, have sex with her husband. 

This would all obviously never work. I just don’t understand people sometimes…

This week, I finally hooked myself up with a football ticket and I was going to go to my first ever home Mizzou football game. I did not attend that game today. Instead, I laid on my bed and watched episodes of the office for hours and hours. I did this because I officially had the worst day of my life, EVER! To let you fully understand this day, you have to understand last night… 

It started out just like any other friday night…. sort of. By 6 o’clock Allison and Grace were in my room with me watching Jersey Shore and playing a Jersey Shore drinking game. I was pretty tipsy when they left so I passed out and took a nap until about 8 or 9. When I woke up, Molly and I got dressed and headed over to Laws to meet up with our other friends and go “fratting.” I left laws a little tipsy but not really and we headed over to Sig Ep. Sig Ep was cool, but then we decided to move frats so we went to another frat that we passed on the way to our second destination (another frat that I don’t know the name of). This frat was really hot and really crowded and really annoying. They also gave me a cup of “jungle juice” that was clearly just crystal light or something so I threw it out. We left this frat to go to another frat. I’m not sure exactly how or why, but we ended our night back at Sig Ep. This is where I spiral down hill very quickly. You don’t need to know the details of the party but I woke up, freezing, on my friends floor, wrapped in a vomit soaked blanket, reeking, and having to pee very badly. I stumbled back to my dorm room without asking questions about the blanket or my whereabouts and passed out in my bed. When I woke up, around 1, I get a call from Grace and she says “I heard you threw up all over Allison’s room, you dumbass.” Oh no… I did and still do feel just terrible about it. She is being nice about it but I know she’s pissed. So today I have felt the sickest I have ever felt in my entire life and didn’t go to the game and haven’t done anything, literally, all day. I just ordered a thing of chinese food and plan on just staying here and watching a movie by myself. It sounds comfy and relaxing but I still feel like total shit…

I need to get my shit together (said in the voice of Bill Hader in Forgetting Sarah Marshall when he tells Peter to get his shit together).

Andrea and I have been on an old horror movie streak, today we watched “Carrie.” It’s always kind of awkward when Andrea’s roommate, Shelby, walks in because she always walks in at odd times in the horror movie and Andrea and I are just sitting in the dark and it’s really weird. I feel like Shelby probably thinks we are weird together… Oh well. 

I was in Andrea’s room in the first place because I was locked out of my room… again… I really need to buy a lanyard for my id card because it’s the only way into my room and I’ve already purchased four+ (who knows how many when I’ve been drinking) and they are $10 a piece. So I headed up to Andrea’s room where she was supposed to be studying. So of course I distracted her and we watched a movie.

Andrea and I enjoy watching movies, obviously, but I’m always hesitant to enter the third floor… It smells funny, the lounge is always dirty, but above all, the lounge is always filled with third floor people. This might sound like a good, social experience, but trust me, it’s NOT. There are always token people in your life that you hope you don’t run into on a day to day basis because it’s always awkward. Most of those people in my life reside on the third floor. I really need to make new friends.

Lesson of the day: don’t judge and book by it’s cover.

Today, I had my first meeting with my semester long project group for biology. We met and talked about our project briefly last Friday but today was the first time we actually sat down to work together. I was really not looking forward to today because my first impression of my group was terrible. No one seemed the least bit intelligent and were coming up with the dumbest ideas (Friday). Also, there were a token few people that seemed mean or weird. I take it back now. I actually enjoyed working with them today and I learned that even if someone came up with an idea that I didn’t agree with, I could explain to them my issue with the idea and we would compromise and come up with a better idea. I still have doubts about the project that my group came up with, but our teacher is looking it over this week and giving us ideas to fix it. I’m very glad that I changed my perspective on my group and am looking forward to working with them again.

Sorry group 68 Biology 1010!

I miss my friends so much :( it’s weird because I even find myself missing the people who are at Mizzou with me because I can’t see them all the time. This is where I wish I was for AT LEAST a weekend:

Orange County, California

Baton Rouge, Louisiana 

Jayne and I skyped yesterday and she told me that she gets sad when she skypes Molly and me because she wishes that she could just come over and hang out with us. I wish that I could just come over to Jayne’s or Claire’s to hang out with them as well. I’m very glad that I chose to go to Mizzou because I love it here, but being so far away from your best friends is so hard… I can’t wait for Thanksgiving break!

In an attempt to put off reading my Public Speaking homework, I just watched close to every single SNL digital short that has ever been filmed. 

Why?

1. The reason I just told you. I don’t want to read chapter 10 in “Speak Up!”

2. I LOVE Andy Samberg. He is so funny and really cute and I think he’s really fun to watch. 

3. I’ve been watching SNL most of the day on Hulu with Andrea because we got really into them after we ate dinner. 

After watching them, I decided that the problem with the recent SNL skits isn’t it’s cast. SNL has been getting really bad reviews lately and everyone says that it is because the best cast is gone: Amy Poler, Tina Fey, Chris Farley, Molly Shannon, etc. But after watching a lot of the new skits, I decided that each actor is very talented individually. They are all very, very funny people and good actors/actresses, the writing has just been a little bit off lately. I still have hope in SNL. It’ll get better soon, it’s just going through a rough patch. 

In an attempt to put off reading my Public Speaking homework, I just watched close to every single SNL digital short that has ever been filmed. 

Why?

1. The reason I just told you. I don’t want to read chapter 10 in “Speak Up!”

2. I LOVE Andy Samberg. He is so funny and really cute and I think he’s really fun to watch. 

3. I’ve been watching SNL most of the day on Hulu with Andrea because we got really into them after we ate dinner. 

After watching them, I decided that the problem with the recent SNL skits isn’t it’s cast. SNL has been getting really bad reviews lately and everyone says that it is because the best cast is gone: Amy Poler, Tina Fey, Chris Farley, Molly Shannon, etc. But after watching a lot of the new skits, I decided that each actor is very talented individually. They are all very, very funny people and good actors/actresses, the writing has just been a little bit off lately. I still have hope in SNL. It’ll get better soon, it’s just going through a rough patch. 

Fuck it’s 8 am and my roommate and I are wide awake! I hate that part of drinking… The part where you wake up super early and can’t get back to sleep even though you’re running on like 4 hours of sleep. Last night was fun though. It’s weird because it was basically a Webster part because the Heidingers hosted it, but I loved it. There’s something comforting about being with a lot of Webster people.

We ran into two people from our FIG at the party and they said that they were shocked to see us. They said that we didn’t look like party people. At the time I was appalled but now I can’t decide if it is a good or bad thing that I don’t look like a party person…. Oh well. Last night was full of good and bad things. I tried to swipe into my PA’s room for like 15 minutes thinking it was the bathroom. Someone found me and set me straight which was a good thing. It actually was the guy from my FIG. I guess they know now that we’re party people.

Ok, so that title has nothing to do with what I’m going to blog about, but it’s been stuck in my head all day and I am about to purchase it on iTunes. I have a little soft spot in my heart for Styx.

Ughh what a day! I am so sick. I have chills, I’m achy, my throat hurts, my head throbs, and the poison ivy isn’t helping much. Despite this new illness, I was actually pretty productive today. As much as I didn’t want to, I went to all my classes, then Molly and I went to a free “crafternoon” at the craft studio and tie-dyed! I tie-dyed two shirts and Molly tie-dyed two shirts and some socks. 

I just took my Benadryl so who know how long I’ll be awake. I’m planning on taking a nap anyway so it’s good timing. I hope I feel better soon because being sick really sucks.

AND ON TOP OF THAT I went to put on my favorite brown shorts and guess what? They didn’t fit! It was so sad. I need to start going to the gym again but it sounds horrible because of how sick I am! Hopefully I’ll get better soon and then I can start working out. Until then, it’s gym shorts and sweatpants for me.

Good night!

I seriously feel stoned right now. I took some Benadryl right before I went to do my laundry. VERY drowsy! I instantly became the drowsiest I’ve ever been. I started feeling and acting like I was high. It was quite the experience.

Now I’m just worried about what is going to happen tomorrow. The Benadryl helped my rash to stop itching but I don’t want to feel like this! There is no way I can take it before my classes because I’ll fall asleep! Why didn’t I get non-drowsy! 

For the last week or so I’ve had this disgusting rash that started covering a large portion of my legs and even was on my chest a little bit. So I made an appointment at the student health center to get it checked out by a doctor. She confirmed it- it’s poison oak. Or poison ivy or something poison like that. 

I have to wash all of my sheets tonight and wash all the clothes that might have given it to me. Ughh being infected is such work.

I’m glad I went though because she gave me a prescription of something I can get if it doesn’t go away with over the counter stuff. After psychology, my friend, Andrea, and I are going to go to hyvee and stock up on all the drugs I need to get rid of my poison _____. 

I hope it goes away soon, it’s really uncomfortable and is getting really disgusting. 

Ahh I have a class at 8:00 AM and I can’t sleep at all! I have a few theories as to why I can’t sleep:

1. I drink at least 3 mountain dews a day. I do this because a. I love mountain dew and b. I am always so tired because I can’t sleep. It’s a viscous cycle because I can’t sleep because of the mountain dew but I drink mountain dew because I’m tired because I can’t sleep. 

2. I’m nervous about this whole “Hall Government” thing. Why would I sign up to be historian of hall government? I know it looks good and it’s a way to get involved but when it comes down to it, being historian only equals one thing: MORE WORK.

3. I’m in a lot of pain because of the rash that has now consumed a large part of my body. It itches like crazy! It’s taking every bit of will power that I have not to itch it. This I think is the main reason why I can’t sleep. 

4. I have a long day tomorrow and I’m seriously dreading it. I know I didn’t read for english (which I guess I could be doing right now) so I’m nervous for my english class and I have to turn in my first, for real college paper. I hate being graded….

I wish so badly that I could sleep right now. My roommate is next to me showing off her ability to sleep so well. We both have the same 8:00 AM class so I guess we know who will be up and ready to go and who won’t be. I hate public speaking class…

Today, I went to the first hall government meeting. Molly came along with me. I nominated myself for Historian and am running unopposed to guess what? I’m historian of my hall government.

Wwwhhhyyy did I do this to myself?!

Today I woke up late again: 12:50! I have to stop doing this! The reason that I don’t like when I do this is I miss half of my day. People are already out and have their day started and I’m still sitting in my living room braless in my big Mizzou sweatshirt. 

Last night was alright, nothing special, but it was nice to see webster people that I hadn’t seen in a long time. I stayed sober, I was driving, but I still had a pretty good time. It was weird because most of the party I go to school with, with just a few other people thrown in. People I was excited to see: Lindsay Sylvia, Sydney Dygard, Alex Domino (I got to school with him but hadn’t seen him yet), Elle Vanconia, and I’m sure there were more. 

Now I’m watching The Rachel Zoe Project on Bravo (my favorite channel ever) and I am very envious of her life. She is glamorous and basically buys clothes for celebrities and gets paid to show (although her life IS very stressful). 

Even though I envy her because her job looks like fun, I don’t want to live like her when I’m an adult. I couldn’t handle the city or the stress and I want to have a family. Rachel’s family consists of her adorable (and possibly gay) husband, Roger, and all of her assistants. I want children and a house with a yard and a puppy. 

Speaking of puppies, I saw the most adorable little puppy with Jacob the other day! Something I missed about St. Louis was my weekly trip to PetsMart with Jacob to look at all of the puppies for adoption. They are all cute and I want them all, but I have a soft spot in my heart for Pit Bulls (don’t ask me why, I know it’s weird). In a cage, a cute little brown, skinny, pit bull mix looked up at me with sad little eyes. He/she was so cute! Jacob and I agreed that if we were a newlywed couple looking for a puppy at PetsMart, we would leave with that little pit bull. 

I woke up today at 12:10 pm. I loved sleeping in my room last night! I love my dorm room and I love my roommate and even my bed at school, but it was so comforting to just lay in my bed in my own room with my kitty :)

After I woke up, I just wanted to hang out downstairs and watch T.V. like I used to do all summer. It’s an absolutely beautiful day, the best we’ve had in a while (at least in Columbia) and at some point I want to get out and do something outside but for now I’m hungry.

I couldn’t wait to eat home cooked food instead of dining hall food but the truth is, Mizzou doesn’t have bad dining hall food. The first thing that I wanted to eat when I woke up was biscuits and gravy and I eat that at Mizzou when I am up early enough to eat breakfast. Oh well, I will get past this craving and move to better food for the rest of the weekend. I really should get out and run but the chances of that happening are very slim. 

I’m going home for the first time since I’ve been in Columbia and I’m really excited. I’m excited to see my puppies! 

I’ve only been here less than a month and for some reason it feels really weird to be going home. I’m getting oddly emotional about it. I know I’ll be back here on Monday so why am I being so weird? I guess I really do love Columbia.

I’m super excited to sleep in my room and in my bed. I like my room and bed here but for some reason I haven’t been sleeping well at all. I get like 5 hours max when I sleep and that’s on a good night. Hopefully that will go away really soon because I’m constantly tired. 

I’m also super excited to catch up on all the T.V. shows I’ve missed. Today, I watched Jersey Shore and The Real World on my laptop so those are taken care of, but I still have Top Chef, Tosh.o, and The Real Housewives of New Jersey to catch up on.

I’m leaving in five minutes so I have to go! I’ll blog back in STL!

Man oh man you’re my best friend,
I scream it to the nothingness,
There ain’t nothing that I need.
Well, hot and heavy, pumpkin pie,
Chocolate candy, Jesus Christ,
Ain’t nothing please me more than you.
Ahh Home. Let me come home
Home is wherever I’m with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is wherever I’m with you.

I miss Jayne Lee Butler :(

I’m pretty irrational when it comes to purchasing music. For example, I really like this song by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros called “Home” so in the middle of typing a paper, without know any of their other music, I purchased their entire album for $9.99 on iTunes. 

So far, it’s a purchase that turned out well. I really like their other stuff. I know once my roommate gets back from Food Science she’s going to hook up her iPod and steal it but it’s ok. 

I recently did this with two other artists: MGMT and Mickey Avalon. The Mickey Avalon album that I purchased was good (but I mean, it’s Mickey, how could it not be?) but the MGMT album, as much as it pains me to say this, wasn’t all that good. They have a token couple good songs but the rest are just so-so. It’s ok though because they are so sexy that they can get away with it. I’m not going to be taking them off the wall of my dorm anytime soon no matter how badly they sound. 

Wednesdays are the worst days of the week for me. I have four classes and I’m done at 3:00 pm instead of my normal 1:00 pm. It’s ok though because my last class it really easy but today we took a tour of the library… It was so boring I almost fell asleep. 

This blog has prevented me from writing my English 1000 paper so I should probably get off.

Until next time!

I’m moving really slowly today. I woke up at 11:30, watched The Real Housewives of NJ Reunion pt. 1. Last night I watched Teen Mom and the night before I caught up on Jersey Shore and The Real World New Orleans. For a while I forgot about all the shows that I am missing back home so when I realized it, I watched a lot of shows on my laptop. 

Another show that I’m missing is Top Chef and I have no idea how I forgot about it! Top Chef doesn’t post videos on Bravotv.com like the Real Housewives does :( but I am having my mom keep me updated and I am going home this weekend for Labor Day so I will probably watch them all on Friday when I get back to Webster. 

She informed me that Kevin, Kelly, Angelo, Ed, and Tiffany are still remaining on the show. This is the order of people that I would want to win (from my favorite to least favorite): Tiffany (of course), Ed, Kelly, Angelo, Kevin. Not a big Kevin fan. 

I have to read a chapter in my psychology book by 3:30 but I’m putting it off because it’s so boring. After that class, I’m done with classes but have sooo much homework to do by tomorrow! Hopefully I’ll be able to fit in time to work out tonight. Grace and I tried to go work out last night but it was so crowded that all we could do was ab workouts. We really wanted to play racquetball but the rec center doesn’t rent the equipment out (so dumb in my opinion) so we are going to buy some when we go home this weekend. I have high hopes for our racquetball careers. Maybe we will go to the olympics for doubles in racquetball (if that is even a real thing). 

Well I’m going to go read now… ugh… but I’ll try to blog before the weekend.